Query Kombat 2018 Round 1 Begins!

Get that thick skin in place because here we go! 

Round 1

There are 10 matchups here on my blog. Hop on over to Mike's and Michelle's blogs to see the rest of the matchups and entries! They are spread all over the place. Some here, some there. We've got a little bit of everything: Adult, YA, and MG! This round lasts until June 4th at 8 pm.

On the last day the hosts may call out for extra judges to come and break ties, or in case of extra close votes to try and get a more decisive margin. In the event a tie remains, the blog host will provide the tie breaker.

The entry with the most votes for Victory moves forward to the agent round on June 7th! Kombatants will have a chance to revise at that time. (Hurry, because you won't have much time to revise.) Hosts will also pick one eliminated entry to "save" that will be featured in the agent round, but not move ahead to Round 2.

Winning entries must be revised and returned to QueryKombat (at) gmail (dot) com by Wednesday, June 6th at 8:00 AM Eastern. Follow the exact same format as you did when you originally submitted to the contest. If you don't submit a revised entry by 8 AM, we'll post the original in the agent round.

Now before we begin:
Read this post again to remind yourselves of the rules and guidelines of commenting and judging. Keep your comments professional and polite. Be advised: comment moderation is on, so your comments will not show up until approved. This may take some time as my kids are now officially on Summer Break and they need food and water and stuff. I thought about letting them go feral during Query Kombat but decided against it. :0)

Reminders for the Entrants:

You may comment on your own entries after voting has ended to offer thanks or congrats. Do not otherwise respond to or explain feedback. If there is a problem with your entry, shout out to me on twitter as soon as you can. (@Kara_Reynolds7) If you don't have Twitter, you may comment on your entry telling us the mistake. Also, we tried our hardest to make the matchups as fair as possible and against as similar stories as possible. But, obviously, this is impossible to do perfectly and some matchups may seen very random. We apologize for this but it's an evil of the system.

Kombatants should comment on 6 other matchups to help share the love around! Kombatants do not cast votes. Please do not comment until after the blog host leaves a comment for the judge votes.

Reminders for the Judges:

Wait until after one of us hosts comments on each entry first and reply to that comment to cast your votes. Try making your votes objective instead of subjective (but if you really love an entry subjectively, don't even feel bad about saying it was a subjective vote - subjectivity rules!). Be sure to point out the good as well as what needs work. Post under your nicknames! Comment moderation is on, so your comments will not show up right away. If you accidentally post under your real name, send Kara a DM or email the Query Kombat address and let us know. We can fix it! (Note: It's wise to make a copy of your feedback and save it before posting as sometimes the blog eats a comment.) And judges: seriously, thank you for doing this. It's a very tough job and isn't for the faint hearted.

Reminders for Everyone:

Try not to comment until after one of us hosts have made the first comment, then go ahead and offer your feedback. We ask everyone who entered Query Kombat to leave at least one comment.

NOW THE FUN BEGINS!!! GO GO GO!!! We'll be tweeting under #QueryKombat!

And may the odds be ever in your favor!

Query Kombat Round 1: Planet Panic vs Robot Hacker Girl

Title: My Best Friend Runs Venus

Entry Nickname: Planet Panic

Word count: 45K

Genre: Middle Grade Science Fiction

Query:

At 12.9 years old, Kade Walker has never heard of death. Literally. But neither has anyone else he knows. Kade is one of hundreds of kids "living" across the solar system through the use of robotic avatars while their real bodies sleep in pods on Earth. Nothing can hurt him this way; the adults all said so. They just never said how to survive middle school when only one person on the planet will talk to him.

Kade will admit, his obsession with numbers might deter 35.7% of people from hanging out with him. But the bigger issue is his best friend--Princess Tamika of Venus. So her mom almost let a crazed hacker take over everyone's bodies twelve years ago. The queen is locked away, and Tamika herself is really nice. Kade needs to give her reputation a serious reboot. He starts off simple: an interstellar tour using an old teleportation machine that he's reconstructed. But the machine's not rigged for current use, so when Kade fires it up, he unwittingly kills a major security wall and unleashes the same hacker from twelve years ago. Panic rating: ten times infinity.

The hacker shuts off all communications with the adults and begins to take control of the royal avatars. If Kade doesn't want to see his best friend used as a puppet, he needs to stop the hacker fast--even if that means waking up on Earth to fight with a body he never realized could be hurt.

MY BEST FRIEND RUNS VENUS (45,000 words) is an upper MG science fiction novel combining the virtual setting of READY PLAYER ONE with the adventurous planet-hopping of JACOB WONDERBAR. Thank you for your time and consideration.

First 250:

It wasn't the first time Kade had hacked the Venusian maintenance system, but it was one of the best. If he had to put a number on it (and there was very little he didn't put a number on), he'd give it a 9.7. The 9.8 and 9.9 scores were reserved for something epic he hadn't thought of yet, and 10.0 was for the day he would finally reprogram how his robotic body looked. Still, assuming he didn't get caught, his skills today would land him on a totally different planet. Maybe that deserved the 9.8 slot after all. If Tamika would hurry and get here, he could ask her opinion.

Kade straightened against a metal door embedded in a burnt orange mountainside and flicked his left wing. A line of glowing text scrolled across his view: 5:03:34pm. He'd checked the time fifty-three seconds ago, but whenever he wasn't reading data, he felt lost. The adults called it unhealthy. Healthy people could watch a sunset without calculating its luminosity every thirty seconds. Healthy people sounded boring. Besides, the numbers comforted him. Nobody got weirded out by constantly seeing their own hands, did they? His numbers were just that--an extra set of hands. Or wings. Or whatever.

Kade froze. His sensors detected a deep clunking sound that echoed across Venus' stone-hard surface. Low volume, maybe twenty to thirty decibels. His first thought was that it was a patrol robot, but it was coming too fast.

VERSUS

Title: Evie Zimmer and the Robot Misadventure

Entry Nickname: Robot Hacker Girl

Word count: 56K

Genre: Middle Grade adventure

Query:

Thirteen-year-old Evie Zimmer lives in Progress City, an Experimental Prototype City of Tomorrow where innovation is the yardstick of success. Always second to her brilliant sister, Evie desperately wants to win an invention competition and her parents’ love. But everything unravels when her dad loses his job—to robots. Now she only has eight weeks before her family will be forced to leave the home she loves.

Evie must keep her family in town. Her new goal: destroy the robots using coding and high-tech sabotage. If she kills the bots, her dad will get his job back. Problem solved.

Her sneaky plan seems to be working, until one night she stumbles across a grisly scene—blood-like graffiti and two robots hanging from their necks. Soon robots turn violent, and Evie discovers she’s not the only hacker in town. A vigilante named Malice will stop at nothing to use robots to attack the city and its citizens. Evie must race to outsmart her shadowy counterpart before her family gets hurt and the city she loves is destroyed, taking her dreams down with it.

EVIE ZIMMER AND THE ROBOT MISADVENTURE is a Middle Grade tween adventure story, complete at 56,000 words.


First 250:


The day the robots came, the Florida sun was ripe. Heat rippled over Progress City. Sprinklers pumped water heroically over manicured gardens, and palm trees drooped as if chasing their own shade. Dark clouds hung just over the horizon, but the summer storm was too far away to offer relief.

At least our monorail car was cool.

I sat as close to the fan as I could, lifting my chin so the air would blow against my forehead. Every jolt of the train sent waves of coolness my way. Only one short trip through the Green Belt before we reached the mall, then we could bask in air-conditioning and work on our invention.

My fingers tapped the plastic windowsill. Time was running out. Our team only had two hours to work on the project after school. If we didn’t get some basic engineering on paper this week it was going to be hard to finish at all. There were sensors to design, programming to write—-we needed to figure out what the thing would even look like.

“There’s a new collection out at Tren-D,” said Moira. “New dresses, really cute. We could check them out for the project.”

Moira wore a pale blue sleeveless top and black skinny jeans. I loved that look. She had a softness about her, a twinkle in her eyes behind her glasses. She was also the sweetest person on the planet. Her voice warbled like a little bird.

Query Kombat Round 1: Feminist Rumpelstiltskin Reimagining vs You Octopi My Heart

Title: Is My Name

Entry Nickname: Feminist Rumpelstiltskin Reimagining

Word Count: 41K

Genre: Middle Grade Fantasy

Query:

A plucky, but unlucky, young girl must unravel a diabolical web of revenge spun by the greatest weaver the world has ever known in IS MY NAME (MG fantasy, 41,000 words), a feminist, slightly creepy Rumpelstiltskin reimagining. Think SNOW & ROSE meets THE NIGHT GARDENER.

Twelve-year old Chancey is terrified of being sent away to be a servant in the city. She’s tried to prove her value to Papa, but she can’t beguile anyone into giving her gold. Papa’s disgusted she’s not more like the miller’s daughter, who years ago turned straw into gold and became Queen. Mama’s no help—she’s lost in grief for her first-born and furious at the King. He’s still insisting the village has to prove its fealty by letting every first-born be carried off to the true realm by wildmore wolves.

Then Mama claims she’s had a vision proving that the King is lying about everything, and is holding the Queen against her will. Papa and the men of the village are outraged at her disloyalty and declare she’s gone mad. That’s the last straw for Papa—he can’t have a useless daughter and a useless wife. He rushes off to get a mind healer and place Chancey as a serving girl. Mama disappears, and the village men claim her insanity has driven her to leave to confront the King.

In desperation, Chancey asks Old Man Stein, the wealthy village benefactor, for help. But Mr. Stein has a price. He’ll give her enough gold to keep Papa happy if she can convince the latest mother-to-be that Mama is truly mad, so she'll have her baby in the village. The problem is, Chancey has started to come across evidence suggesting Mama is not mad. She—and the Queen—may in fact be prisoners. Turning down Mr. Stein’s offer means Chancey will end up as a nameless serving girl. But if Mama’s right—accepting it may ensnare Chancey forever in the same man-made web of vengeance, deception and greed that’s trapped Mama, the Queen—and the first-borns.


First 250:

Even before the boy fell from the sky, Chancey knew the day was slanting towards trouble. Fog seeped through the chinks in the wattle and daub, shrouding the room. She couldn’t keep the rushlights lit. The fire smoldered like a sulking dragon no matter how much dried dung she tossed in. Worst of all, up in the loft, Papa spoke her name.

“—about Chancey—”

She stole up the ladder, silent as a nighthawk, and pressed her ear against the crack in the loft door.

“There’s no hope she’ll ever earn her keep—she’s been trying for over a year. The Queen mastered the golden tongue gift—beguiling straw to spin itself into gold, mind you!—in three months. I know two merchants in the city in want of a serving girl. We’ve got to place her now, before she turns thirteen.”

Tendrils of fear sprouted in Chancey’s chest. She’d heard terrible tales about children sent away as servants. Starved, overworked, mocked—beaten for dropping a spoon. Never called by their name. She’d thought she had months still to learn the golden tongue gift and prove herself to Papa.

“Now is not the time to decide about Chancey, Eland,” Mama murmured. “You’re far too quick to give up on people.”

There was far too quick, and far too forever—like Mama refusing to give up on Lizel even after thirteen years. But at least she had a thought to spare for Chancey.

“We can’t live in dreams, Vyleen.”

Yet Papa expected Chancey to live in a nightmare.

VERSUS

Title: The One That Got Away: An Octopus Love Story

Entry Nickname: You Octopi My Heart

Word count: 27K

Genre: MG Anthropomorphic

Query:

For a long time, Ceph, a giant Pacific octopus, pined after Sylvia, the octopus next door at the bottom of the sea. Before he can muster the courage to speak to her, he’s captured by a human diver and imprisoned in an aquarium. A kind hawksbill sea turtle named Baja helps Ceph understand his new surroundings while two sinister eels taunt him. Ceph learns that octopuses before him have escaped their enclosure, though none have ever made it back into the ocean alive.

Ceph has never been the brave one—he couldn’t even tell Sylvia he loved her. In order to escape the aquarium, he must face a room full of predators, get past the watchful security guard, and figure out just how long he can hold his breath out of water. Even if he manages to get back into the dangerous ocean, he’ll have to find his way back to his den. Ceph, who has always relied on his ability to camouflage, now must employ all his fight and flight skills to get home safely, all the while wondering whether Sylvia will even care if he returns. Octopuses are solitary creatures, after all.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY was inspired by the true story of Inky, an octopus who escaped from the New Zealand National Aquarium.

First 250:

Ceph stretched arm after arm after arm until all eight were awake and independently exploring his den. His dominant right eye opened. Then the left. He blinked. Pressing his arms against his favorite sleeping rock, he peeled his body off. He floated for a moment, shaking off the drowsy feeling.

Today’s the day, he thought. I’m going to talk to Sylvia.

His skin shifted from lumpy brown to smooth reddish-orange.

He glided, arms floating around his body, to the front of his home –a rock den, slightly bigger than himself. He hovered in the entrance and looked out in the sea. It was a clear, still night in the Pacific Ocean –the water barely moving and satisfyingly cold.

Nearsighted, Ceph could hardly see Sylvia outside of her own den. He stared until her skin’s deep blush color came into view. He admired the glaring, white, polka-dots decorating all eight of her arms. No matter what color or camouflage she turned, her polka-dots remained.

She was the loveliest creature in the entire sea.

Ceph breathed deeply, air ballooning through his gills. Then he moved forward, arm over arm, scooching across the ocean floor, all the while thinking, What will I say? Hello? How are you? My name is Ceph . . .

Something moved under Ceph’s second arm on the left. He startled and shot straight up into the sea, the rest of his arms flailing.

A little sanddab fish lay on its side, both eyes staring up at Ceph.

Query Kombat Round 1: A Boy Named Pez vs Not Missing. On the Moon.

Title: You Belong Here

Entry Nickname: A Boy Named Pez

Word count: 59K

Genre: Middle grade contemporary

Query:

Matthew Miller is a precocious eleven-year-old who dreams of becoming a famous filmmaker. He’s even given himself the name Pez because everybody who’s anybody knows memorable names are a must in Hollywood.

Despite what he’s been told, Pez is convinced he’ll make it in showbiz, most likely by the time he’s eighteen since he’s getting an early start. With the help of his neighbor Jasmine, he sets out to make his first film, a rom-com entitled Dog Loves Cat. But then things start happening. Things showbiz people call obstacles, the kind that usually kick off Act II in the movies. His Mom leaves home, his Dad’s “ghosts” revisit, and Jasmine runs away. Then a hurricane hits, flooding the mobile park where Pez lives and ruining all his film supplies. In the aftermath, Pez’s unrelenting confidence wavers for the first time and he must choose whether to finish his movie or give up on his dream.

At 59,000 words, You Belong Here is a contemporary middle grade novel about friendship, hope, and resiliency. While its comedic voice and quirky characters will appeal to fans of the TV show Young Sheldon, it explores similar themes as Katherine Paterson’s The Same Stuff as Stars.


First 250:

I hate goodbyes, especially now, because they remind me of Mom.

She’s been away on vacation for almost three months. Which, between you and me, isn’t actually a vacation. That’s why a lump is climbing up my throat as I write the goodbye scene of my film, Dog Loves Cat. When Harold the Dog tells Kitty the Cat he loves her, she replies, “It can never be.” Then she takes his hands and declares, “Now, we must say goodbye.”

Even though I should be focused on Harold and Kitty, or at least the math worksheet on my desk, my brain is set to one channel now: Mom. Is she lying on a California beach reading an Agatha Christie book? Is she taking pictures of wildflowers in Montana? Or is she on a highway heading back to Dad and me in Connecticut? I hope so. Three months is already way too long.

But enough of the sad stuff.

I like life the same as I like my cinema: filled with LOLs and ROFLs.

Plus, I need to get at least a little math done before Mrs. Osiani gets to my desk. She’s saying something complimentary to each student while she hands out school photos. Just as I’m getting started on math, she skips two rows and goes directly to Chelsea Jones, who’s only three desks in front of me. I glance down at my worksheet and gasp.

Butterscotch.

I haven’t finished a single problem and Mrs. Osiani will be at my desk any second.

VERSUS

Title: Dear Nosy

Entry Nickname: Not missing. On the Moon.

Word Count: 69K

Genre: Middle Grade

Query:

So! If you’re reading this, you’ll have read the front where it says 'Mirabelle’s Journal'; and, unless you’re completely dumb, you’ll have figured out that, yes, I am the one and only Mirabelle Montgomery...and you are the nosy person reading MY journal!

12 and three-quarter-year-old Mirabelle's best friend, Norma, is missing. Mirabelle knows exactly where she is, but no-one, not even Mom, believes her. Norma is on the Moon.

She and Mirabelle went there with R.T. Zuppithuppit and his kind of moony-cute son, Mar Ten, the aliens they met in Norma's garden. Now she's going to Moon school and all in love with Mar Ten Moony-Boy. And she says she's not coming home, ever. Everyone thinks Norma's dead and they've arrested her Mom's boyfriend for her murder, but when Mirabelle goes back to the Moon to tell her, Norma doesn't even seem to care, and that's just not like her.

As Norma's body starts to go all twisted and funny from a weirdo moon illness, it becomes super obvious that R.T. is not their friend. And Mirabelle finds out that Norma is somehow involved in the death of a girl found in the lake near her house. That's so not Norma. Is this why she won't come home? Things start to go beyond crazy on the Moon and at home, and Norma's sickness gets scary bad. It's always been Norma who knows what to do. That's not Mirabelle's thing (Mom does call her Queen of Irresponsible after all). But it looks like she's going to have to take over here. If she doesn't get Norma off the Moon right now, she'll die!

Against the tick-tock of death's giant clock, an anguished Mirabelle must set a plan in motion that will be a complete betrayal of their friendship, but might possibly, maybe, save Norma's life. The plan fails and all hope is lost... Or is it? Could there still be a way for Mirabelle to save her best friend?

Dear Nosy, a Middle Grade fantasy adventure, is written in journal form and complete at 69,000 words.

First 250 Words:


So! If you’re reading this, you’ll have read the front where it says Mirabelle’s Journal, and unless you’re completely dumb, you’ll have figured out that, yes, I am the one and only Mirabelle Montgomery… and this is my journal. And, actually, seeing as this is MY journal, and it doesn’t have PLEASE READ ME written in giant letters on the front, you’re not only dumb, you’re also nosy and rude! I’m not going to write Dear Diary. I mean, why would I write to a book? Seriously! That’s why I’ve decided to start my journal with Dear Nosy: that’s you!

Thursday May 2nd 5:02 pm: My first official entry, with a date and everything.

So… Dear Nosy, whoever you are, I got this journal because I absolutely, completely have to write down what happened at Norma Johnson's house yesterday. It was just tooooo freaky.

Norma lives two doors down from me, and we met when we were two or something. She's super pretty in a straight, fair haired with glasses, student of the year, kind of way. Not like me! I have this attacked-by-freckles problem, and goofy curly hair that won't go straight no matter what. I sometimes think if I could get rid of those two things, I might be pretty too. I guess green eyes are okay, though. Norma's are brown, but mine are really green. Like a witch maybe, which is kind of cool ! Norma's know-it-all and bossy sometimes, but she’s definitely my best friend. I go round to her place a lot.

Query Kombat Round 1: Carrion My Wayward Son vs The Kids Aren't Alright

Title: Song of the Vulture

Entry Nickname: Carrion My Wayward Son

Word count: 96K

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy

Query:

Eighteen-year-old Alora Delattre should have been burned at the stake; her power to possess other people’s bodies is an ability long condemned by scripture as the deepest form of corruption. Her father, the head of the church that would execute her, should have been the one to set her aflame. Instead, he hid her.

But then Alora’s mother is murdered by a rebel force, and death by fire suddenly seems like a small price to pay for revenge. She takes over the body of one of the rebels and sneaks into their camp, but seeing the world through their eyes changes everything. She finally catches a glimpse of the blood and manipulation the world has suffered at her father’s hands. And then there’s Chet, the quiet, passionate, maddening leader of the rebellion who she swears can see right through her even though he’s blind. But, curse her to ash, she can’t stay away from him. She’s risking everything letting him get close—especially while she’s wearing another girl’s skin.

But Scythe, her father’s magical assassin, is tracking her, and he’s closing in fast. Alora must choose: avenge her mother’s death by hauling Chet and his crew to the execution stage, or lead the crusade against the most terrible dictator her world has ever known—her own father.

SONG OF THE VULTURE is a multi-POV novel with chapters from Alora’s, Chet’s, and Scythe’s points of view. The possession aspect hearkens back to Stephenie Meyer’s The Host, while the father-daughter relationship and the romance will appeal to readers of Marie Rutkoski’s The Winner’s Curse.

First 250:

There it was: the Pyre where Alora should have been burned alive.

The great pole that marked it shone white as a bone over the housetops as she and Kirsi slipped through the city’s slumbering shadows. That pole drew forth a slew of emotions every time Alora saw it. The strongest was the fear. Light and slippery as a whisper, it slithered just under her skin. But she clung to the spite that crackled in her bones, and she held her head high.

Hooves clattered on the cobblestones behind them, and Alora shoved Kirsi into an alley. They ducked out of sight an instant before the guards rode past. Her heart thundered in her ears. Excitement thrummed in her bones.

When she was sure they were gone, she pulled Kirsi back down the road. Faster now. The sooner they got to the Frosted Vulture and out of these deserted streets, the better.

Kirsi cinched her cloak tighter around her face. “I swear, if we get caught again—”

“We’re not going to get caught.”

Kirsi grumbled under her breath but kept tight to Alora’s side. They waded through garbage and urine in the gutters as they darted from one ramshackle building to the next.

They reached the crumbling remains of an abandoned shoe factory sometime around midnight. A sleepy-looking boy barely older than Alora barred her way and demanded the password. Taking care to keep her features hidden, she whispered the words in his ear. He let them pass.

VERSUS

Title: Dark Galaxy: Emerge

Entry Nickname: The Kids Aren't Alright

Word count: 105K

Genre: Own Voices/ YA Fantasy

Query:

DARK GALAXY: EMERGE is a diverse YA fantasy with sci-fi elements. Complete at 105,000 words, it is a standalone novel with series potential.

Alexia Jacobs—a sixteen-year-old black activist—has electrocuted her father. He’s on the edge of death, laid out in a ravine after her hidden powers got the best of them both. And if Alexia wants to stay free from death row, she better run from the Black Coats—a regime her politician father built to police superhumans like her.

During her escape, a guide promises her a cure that lies in The Grove—a realm ruled by superhumans. After arriving there, Alexia doesn’t feel like an abomination. She has real friends, a teleporting boy and a pyrokinetic prankster, that almost make her want to stay. But The Grove is a lie, with no cure. Worse, her single gene variation will cause her to gain a new power every few years. Making any hope of returning to her old life, or blending in to her new one, a pipe dream.

Alexia still longs of going home to reconcile with her family but knows it’s impossible without a cure. When she hears about Knox-Oxley Labs, a group that offers the genetic cleansing she desires, she believes she’s found the solution to her problem. But Knox-Oxley Labs are more than what they seem: they’re a secret fraternity of Voodoo hitmen. Giving them her ever-evolving gene means handing them the power they need to become the master race in all realms and start civilization from scratch.

Devastated, Alexia now knows she will never be normal. Nor will she give up her powers to hurt innocent people. But when Knox-Oxley begins abducting her new friends in their search for her, Alexia must master her abilities to fight for her new world, and the one she can never return to.

First 250 Words:

Poor Faye Woods murdered her boss with her bare hands. Straight up squeezed her fingers through his skull and painted the walls red. At least, that's what they say...

The wolf.

The press.

The jury.

All the Normals.

They've served up so many lies, they've started to believe them themselves. "It's so sad what she did to that man. I just can't believe it." Stasi, my intern director, clicks her tongue. Both of our eyes are glued to the news screen. We haven’t been able to focus on anything since the trial started. "Without Croix Bullock’s testimony, she would've gotten away with it. Any one of us could've been next."

Except, this all started with Croix—the wolf, who's just as slinky and sharp looking as an actual wolf—and his fugazi witness account. He's the one who really did it. That's what poor Faye Woods confessed on the stand.

Everyone goes quiet and I hear Stasi scoff. "Don't tell me you still side with her, Alexia." Apparently, out of all her interns, I'm the only one who hasn't sad-grunted in agreement. All their eyes are waiting on me.

"I just...don't think she's guilty." I shrug. Suddenly, everyone's sad grunts shift to annoyed ones. I tuck a frizzy coil behind my ear. "Why is that shocking? None of her DNA was even found at the crime scene."

Russell, a fellow intern, rolls his chair out from his desk. "She's a Varien! All she has to do is use her abilities and walk away​."

Query Kombat Round 1: Eradicated vs Canary Girl

Title: Eradicated

Entry Nickname: Eradicated

Word Count: 80K

Genre: Young Adult Sci Fi (OWN)

Query:

Seventeen-year old Maya Richardson joined the commune army for food, shelter, and an excuse to kick people—not necessarily in that order. She doesn’t believe she’ll ever see the front line though. The militia has been preparing for a fight with the Gliesians for the past 400 years. But the Gliesians, the super-powered aliens that now co-habit the Earth, have been completely peaceful. Maya, like most humans, refuses to buy into the conspiracy theories--until her mom is abducted.

Maya will do anything to save her mom, but the fearful commune elders forbid Maya from leaving the compound grounds. The only person on her side is Roman, a seventeen-year-old outsider with a grudge against the aliens for killing his dad. Together, Maya and Roman escape from the compound and enter the glittering allure of the Gliesian city. But Maya’s search for answers uncovers a nefarious plot that has been causing the human population to dwindle for centuries.

Caught spying on the aliens, Maya is sentenced to death. Roman risks his life to free her, but exposes himself to be something other than human—the one thing she can’t trust. With her mom’s life on the line, Maya must convince the rest of the humans that the aliens pose a threat, the commune that they are capable of winning the war, and herself that Roman isn’t the enemy.

ERADICATED is an 80,000 word Young Adult Science Fiction novel that will appeal to readers of The Host and Cracked.


First 250 words:

I peer into the commune cafeteria with its vaulted ceilings and disintegrating interior walls. For the umpteenth time in my life I wish the west side of the commune had more than just one place to grab food during the day. The rumor mill is already going and the only thing churning on it is my friend Katie.

I’m not concerned about the hushed whispers, the pointed stares, or even the rude questions that most of the residents will soon ask. They will get no information out of me. My greatest talent is lying (that and my round house kick) and I plan to use it with no remorse. Lying; not the kicking.

My only concern is the one person in the compound I can't lie to—my best friend Naomi. I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans.

Hopefully, I can grab my lunch and go before she sees me. I squint through the haze of dust particles that circle the room as I scan rows of dilapidated tables.

"What are you doing, Maya?" a familiar voice asks from behind me.

I jump a whole foot. "Naomi," I say, whirling around to face her. My heart thunders in my chest." I was just wondering where you were. It looks like they made your favorite, that mystery meat loaf. I know how much you love it. Glad they didn’t keep you late at the lab or you might have missed it." I know I sound awkward and I’m rambling.

VERSUS

Title: Locusts

Entry nickname: Canary Girl

Word count: 90K

Genre: YA scifi thriller

Query:

While locusts ravage the Earth, seventeen-year-old science-prodigy Nila is plagued by her father's suicide. Art therapy is helping to heal her loss, but she’s not the only one affected by his death. When he died, the formula for his revolutionary pesticide was lost with him, and Nila's pushy mom wants her to help finish his work.

After Nila discovers proof that her father's pesticide never worked, she defies her mom to follow her passion to become a graffiti artist. But when a whole new breed of flesh-eating locusts is unleashed in Boston, she must heal her relationship with her mom and combine her creative and scientific abilities to finally complete her father’s work and defeat the mutant swarm.

LOCUSTS is a 90,000-word YA sci-fi thriller set in Boston that would appeal to fans of THIS MORTAL COIL and the complex mother-daughter dynamic of LADY BIRD.


First 250:

The last time I made my father’s chest swell with pride, I was almost four years old. He had gathered the greatest minds from across the world to resolve the locust problem spreading across Africa and Eurasia, and I was to be the evening’s entertainment. As he lifted me onto the head table, the university’s Great Hall fell silent except for a growing chorus of tinkling glass. With my dark curls pinned tight to my scalp, I clutched the skirt of my canary-yellow dress and recited the periodic table. In Spanish and English. Pausing only to carefully form my mouth around the desconocidos, I made sure I didn’t trip over a single one.

When I had finished, I was spun in the air and called my father’s daughter.

It made me feel something then—as though at any moment I would burst, in an explosion of feathers, and emerge a tiny yellow bird, fluttering high up in the rafters.

“Nila!” Mom’s voice jars me from my thoughts.

I try to grasp hold of the memory again, but it’s gone. My chest is an empty cage. Only the echoes of that little bird’s song are left, no matter how hard I try. As I prepare for the curtains to go up and the International Young Scientist of the Year to be announced, the blazing heat of the stage lights scorches the air dry, so that every breath burns me up from the inside out.

“Nila, stop that,” Mom calls from offstage.

Query Kombat Round 1: Cowboys vs Zombie Pirates vs Dream a Little Bigger, Darling

Title: String Theory

Entry Nickname: Cowboys Versus Zombie Pirates

Word Count: 93K

Genre: Young Adult Speculative

Query:

Music is the key to all time and space.

A violinist trapped in the past must choose between saving her mother or the future of mankind. Violin prodigy Crystal Aislen learns her mother, who went missing seven years ago, has been lost in time. When an eccentric scientist gives her the means to find her mother, she becomes impatient and accidently flings herself into the past. The specialized violin is her only hope of returning home, but its strings were scattered throughout history as she fell through time. Unless she can find all four before the temporal energy of the time rift runs out, she will be trapped in the past forever.

Crystal’s hunt for the strings will require her to stay a step ahead of some of the most ruthless outlaws of the Old West, outwit notorious pirates like Captain Jack Rackham and Anne Bonny, and team up with Anna Maria Mozart. Each string recovered gives Crystal more temporal control. However, each use of the violin drains precious temporal energy, and risks giving away her location in time to a Shadow Musician—electric guitar players with incredible powers over time and space. Their goal is to erase Crystal from existence, and the reason for it seems to be related to her mother. Despite being warned not to, Crystal searches for the truth about her mother’s fate. Her only clues come in the form of pages of sheet music dispersed through time. The music resembles a lullaby Crystal’s mother used to sing, but the true purpose of the composition will only be revealed when played in its entirety. It is a melody of hope, not only for Crystal to return home, but for the future of all humanity. 

STRING THEORY is ready for review at 93,000 words.


First 250:

“Next.”

Crystal lost concentration at the sharp command. Her violin screeched as she halted her song, her mouth wide in disbelief. She had barely played three measures. The faculty member had interrupted her. Why? This was her best work, an original composition guaranteed to impress. None of the other violinists auditioning to get into West Chester University had been bold enough to try an original. They were all sticking to the classics. Maybe she should have done the same, but the song was an ode to her mother, who had disappeared without a trace seven years ago. Her practices had gone flawlessly. Her high school symphony director labeled her a prodigy. If they didn’t let her finish, they would never see her talent, never know what truly set her apart from her peers. Her song to her mother might never be heard. She would go home in failure. Three measures?

“But I—”

“Thank you, Miss Aislen. That will be all,” the lead judge said with a flippant wave of her hand. The grey-haired woman pushed her wire-framed glasses up on her nose, leaned back in her chair, and folded her arms. “We have a lot of applicants to go through today.”

Surely there had been a mistake. Did they even look at the composition she gave them? It had a complex series of layered chords. Not only did the chorus alone demonstrate every classical skill, she had also captured all of the joy of the moment her mother returned.

VERSUS

Title: DreamCatch 3.0

Entry Nickname: You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling

Word Count: 86K

Genre: YA Science Fiction

Query:

Fable and Tillie are both sixteen, trying to survive the New Delhi streets, and Jani, also known as dream-jumpers. But that’s where their similarities stop.

Wild-haired Fable discovers she is a Janus while testing a new app and carries a butterfly from her dream into reality. This Janus ability is in her blood…like her grandma. But then her grandmother dies and so do her answers. So Fable teams up with this mysterious DreamCatch 3.0 Company, hoping answers will come quicker than the ocean’s rising tides.

Tillie has a headache every night, it could be from her cancer, or it could be from her purposefully tight ponytail. Tillie has been a skilled Janus for six months, helping DreamCatch 3.0 fight climate change, but when a better dream jumper comes along she panics. She can’t lose her good graces with the leader, especially when the price for the cancer drug keeps rising.

DREAMCATCH 3.0 is a standalone (or exciting series starting) young-adult novel complete at 86,000 words. It is a fast-paced escapade set in the year 2122, where the technological advances of the day are at war with climate change. Although DreamCatch 3.0 plans to save the world, Fable and Tillie team up to discover they just might be on the losing side.


First 250:


Fable wasn’t dreaming. She also wasn’t dead. Even though she lay on her back, with a stiff pillow against her neck, her eyes tightly closed, and her hands crossed over her chest, she wasn’t dead. Sure, she looked dead. Dead like she was in her coffin, like a fat mortician had freshly powdered her nose. Heck, dead like a vampire enjoying a few restful hours before creeping alive. Or half alive? Wait, are vampire’s dead or is that just zombies? Are zombies cooler than vampires? Oh forget it. The important thing here was Fable looked dead. But she wasn’t. She was very much alive.

“Patient 725, are you still with us? Because you look dead,” a voice echoed from the intercom. “You look very dead. And this test you signed up for, it isn’t going to work if you spend the entire eight hours stiff and awake. Or dead…wait are you dead?”

“I’m not—”

“Of course she’s not dead,” another intercom voice said. This voice boomed against the walls but still scratched like it had a sore throat. “We have her vitals right here, look at her heartbeat for Pete’s sake!”

“Fine sorry,” the original voice rushed. “God Dev, I was just nervous, she looked super de—”

“I’m not dead!” Fable sat up. Then immediately regretted it as her head spun. She blinked and tried to focus on the only colored tile on the wall. The rest of it was washed in a sterile gray, but this was dark pink.

Query Kombat Round 1: #SexEd vs Fate Doesn't Care About Your Plans

Title: Deafinitely

Entry Nickname: #SexEd

Word count: 79K

Genre: YA Contemporary (#own #dis #rehabilitated #WOC)

Query:

Seventeen-year-old Lia Rossi plans on making the most of her junior year. Hello, people? She’s the new official Social Coordinator, and her first order of business is advocating a Sex Ed program—for the Special Ed class.

This sounds sketchy coming from the town it-girl (read: party girl), but she really thinks anyone who wants safe, satisfying sex should be able to learn about it. Just as people start taking her seriously, disaster strikes. The new girl in town flat-out ignores Lia’s warm welcome into the student body. So Lia deals with her accordingly, like any sensible person at the top of the social ladder would. The only problem is, Fallyn’s Deaf.

Now, half the school, including the disabled students, are questioning if Lia’s too shallow and ignorant to be anyone’s advocate. To say she’s pissed would be an understatement. Not that her feelings should take precedence over theirs, but she just hates the fact that they’re doubting her depth. Especially when she really believes in the empowerment of the Sex Ed program.

But if she truly wants to be taken seriously—and if she truly wants to help fight a battle that’s not her own—Lia must do more than cross social divides. She must let the Special Ed students lead the way towards a sex and self revelation. No, scratch that. A revolution.

First 250:

I’m in the center of the Student Council office. Like literally standing in the middle of the famous round table. Before me, two pairs of eyes watch my every move. One gray (President Brooke), the other dark, nearly black pools (Secretary Emilio).

They look me over as if picking me apart, searching for every flaw they can and will find. Especially Brooke. “Let’s cut the crap, shall we?” she says. “You want on the Council and you’re using the Special Ed class to get there. That’s new, I’ll give you that, but…”

She narrows her eyes. “You’re a silver-spoon slacker. Anyone who’s ever been forced into a group project with you knows that for a fact. You’ll get bored when the hype dies down, and then everyone else will be stuck getting the job done. Another good idea by Lia, but no real execution or commitment when it counts.”

I gasp, feeling like that one blinking gif guy. I mean, damn, using the Special Ed class? Good ideas but no real commitment? That’s no way to talk to her future Social Coordinator. An angry blush prickles over my cheeks, and unlike Emilio, my skin’s not warm enough to cover it.

But I can’t snap on them.

Under no circumstances can I blow this interview. Not only do I need the Council’s resources for my Sex Ed campaign (#prioritiesONpoint), but I can’t go home with bad news. I haven’t mastered the art of crying beautifully yet, so no way is that an option.

VERSUS

Title: Before I Leave You

Entry Nickname: Fate Doesn't Care About Your Plans

Word Count: 75K

Genre: YA Contemporary

Query:

Eighteen-year-old Sophie has spent the last few years struggling to breathe, going in and out of the hospital more times than she can count. But all that changed when she finally received the lung transplant she’d been praying for. After a painful recovery, her worst fear is that someday she'll reject the transplant, so she’s eager to take her new lungs out for a test drive and enjoy life while she still can. Sophie spends the summer before she goes to college speeding around on her motorbike and whipping up irresistible goodies at her family's bakery. She never expected Jason, the brother of her organ donor, to walk through the door.

After Jason’s sister dies in a car accident that he caused, he blames himself and can't move past the grief. Desperate to end the pain, he plans to kill himself, but first he wants to meet all of the people his sister’s organs saved. Sophie is the last one, and meeting her means he’s ready to end his suffering. But when Sophie finds a bucket list on his sister’s blog, she convinces him they should complete it for her, and he puts his plan on hold.

Together, Sophie and Jason travel the world and complete the items on the list. They dance in Time Square, see the Northern Lights, and kiss on top of the Eiffel Tower. The more time they spend together, the more they both start to heal. Completing the list gives Sophie a way to repay her organ donor and Jason a reason to live, but the closer they get to the end, the more Sophie is convinced she's rejecting the lungs. Both must decide if they’re willing to fight for love, even if it has an expiration date.

BEFORE I LEAVE YOU, complete at 75,000 words, is a dual point of view YA Contemporary that’s SEVEN POUNDS meets THE BUCKET LIST.


First 250:

After months of searching, I finally had a name.

Sophie Meyer.

I found her. The last person on my list. The last recipient I hadn’t met. The last piece of my sister.

The darkness that had built a home in the hollow part of my chest where my heart should be swirled at the implication of this discovery. This girl was the end of the pain. Of the constant, constricting guilt that choked me every day for the past year.

My cousin, Chris, nudged me in the ribs. “Earth to Jason.”

I looked up from the piece of paper in my hand, a printout of a small town news article titled Local Girl Gets Life Saving Transplant. “Sorry, what?”

“I asked you what you’re going to do now.” He shifted his weight to the edge of the couch in my living room.

“I’m going to go to this town and find her.” The conversation we needed to have could only be done in person.

“Isn’t that like, a six-hour drive?”

Dread twisted my gut. I hadn’t been in a car that long since the accident. I wasn’t sure I could handle driving that far, but it wasn’t like I could just message her online. What would I say? Hi there. My name’s Jason, and I cyber stalked you because you have my little sister’s lungs.

“I’ll deal with it,” I told him.

“I could come with?”

I shook my head. “No, I need to do this alone.”

Query Kombat Round 1: Punk Rock Waitress Rules vs Absalom, Absalom!

Title: Someone Somewhere Summertime

Entry Nickname: Punk Rock Waitress Rules

Word count: 88K

Genre: Adult – Women’s Fiction

Query:

Please enjoy my entry, a humorous piece of coming-of-age women’s fiction, complete at 88,000 words with series potential. It’s a post-punk, girl-power discovery journey described as Sweetbitter meets John Hughes. The novel chronicles a group of young women in the ‘80s, the first generation who were told they could have it all—love, education, careers, casual sex, meaning friendships, and creative fulfillment. No one mentioned the turmoil and frustration that would ensue when those women’s ambitions were set loose on the world, and they actually tried to get it all, post-college.

In 1984, punk is rampant, Warhol rules, and 23-year-old Pittsburgh art student Jessica is sick of missing the excitement. She sets her sites on a graduate study program in England she can’t afford, determined to grow as an artist and a person. Yet her long-time hometown boyfriend Drew decides they need to “see other people” if he’s not thrilling enough to keep her stateside.

Jessica and her avant-garde roommates set off to waitress in New Hope, PA, an upscale, culturally open-minded summer tourist town on the Jersey border, hellbent on saving the tuition to get to London. The girls rent a leaky basement apartment, braving waitressing chaos, slam dancers, drag shows, over-muscled townies, and co-workers of all sexual persuasions in search of the unsheltered, post-dorm life she’s been pining for. Then Jess meets Whit, a volatile new wave guitarist who crawls through her window and makes her head spin like a record.

But Whit turns out to be more trouble than the typical shiny new toy. He sends Jessica careening off the road in his Camaro during a heated tiff, draining her tuition savings with an ER bill. When lingering high school boyfriend Drew shocks Jess by transferring across the country, she’s left to decide whether being stuck on both guys is awesome, or a reckless personification of her cracked-glass mosaic art projects—and whether a commitment to either will hinder her dream trip to London.

First 250:

I’m not a good enough liar to get a job on the river side of New Hope, where the real waitresses work.

A restaurateur in a lavender silk shirt interrogates me, tapping a finger against his lips.

“Jessica Addentro,” he reads off my application. This is the seventh place I’ve visited today, and I have an hour before I have to meet the girls for a ride back to Trina’s house. My feet throb like a U2 drum kick.

I sit at Capresi’s Continental Restaurant in New Hope, sheltered between the canal and a creek that zig-zags as if it’s lost its way. Trina calls this Pennsylvania’s answer to San Francisco, where the lifestyle choices are as assorted as the menu selections. The whole town is an artsy tourist trap sprung between multiple bodies of water, including the Delaware River.

The restaurateur pronounces my name with an Italian flourish. “Ad-den-tro. Do you know what it means?”

I took high school Italian, but it’s been a while. “Inside?”

“Versed in.” He winds his free hand in a circle. “As in, full of insights. Does that sound like you?”

“Depends on the subject matter,” I say. “But okay.”

Sun-catchers shaped like owls and starbursts flash behind him, suspended from the ceiling amid twirling lanterns. Bookshelves and plants scream for a feather duster.

The man’s eyes flick down the page. “You live here in town?”

“Me and my roommates are moving into a place on Main Street this week.” Then life will begin.

VERSUS

Title: Hope

Entry Nickname: Absalom, Absalom!

Word count: 93K

Genre: Women’s historical fiction

Query:

“I did everything God asked of me, and He took away everything I loved.”

HOPE MACDONALD was a fiercely independent tomboy, even in her isolated early twentieth century mountain community where her life is guided by the customs of her Scottish ancestors and the strict tenets of her Protestant religion. But her thirteenth birthday marks her entry into womanhood. Without her trademark overalls, and no longer allowed to pursue her favorite pastimes of fishing and trapping, Hope struggles to find her place.

When a devastating storm destroys their crops and kills much of the livestock, Hope’s family faces foreclosure. Believing that the only way to save their farm is to produce a larger crop, they propose to rent fallow land from their neighbor, ABSALOM NEVILLE. But Absalom wants only one thing in return: Hope.

Guided by her belief that she must follow God’s plan for her life and by her fear of what might happen if she angers Him, Hope agrees to marry Absalom, a man twice her age. This marriage will test her strength in ways she could never imagine and keep her bound to a man who has stolen her spirit and threatens to take her life.

Can she leave? Not unless she can overcome the paralyzing fear of stepping outside the boundaries that have been ingrained in her since childhood—that will make her a “tainted woman.” She and her children will be ostracized by the community, thrown out of the church, perhaps thrust into even worse poverty.

HOPE is historical women’s fiction complete at 93,000 words. It is similar in content to Vinegar Hill by A. Manette Ansay and Sentence of Marriage, by Shayne Parkinson.


First 250:

My parents named me Hope. I was born too soon, a frail and tiny child, and hope was all they could give me.

In the Adirondack Mountains of the nineteen-aughts, life was a scrabble. My mother bore seven living babies; four others had not survived. That was the way of childbirth then: there were no promises.

I was tiny, but I grew and I thrived. Being the only girl I had little choice. Although I was small-framed like my Ma’s side, I inherited Da’s Scots features: his deep emerald eyes and auburn curls. My father declared I looked like a tiny ball of flames as I streaked barefoot across the barnyard, my bright red hair flying behind me.

“How’s my Fireball?” he’d tease, coming into the house at dinnertime. He had an easy smile when it came, one that seemed to make his whole face glow. Da’s smiles were rare, but I took every ounce of love he could spare and shined it right back on him. I loved to crawl into his lap on the rare occasion when he sat, nuzzling my face into his rough, hairy chest. I craved the smell of him. It was earthy but pleasant: the scent of hard work and honest living.

It never came to me that I couldn’t do anything my brothers could. They might now and then complain I was too little to play with them, but they never excluded me because I was a girl.

But on my thirteenth birthday—May 15, 1920—everything changed.

Query Kombat Round 1: Fire, Magma, & Metal vs God's Dead, Now What?

Title: Serf of the Mountain

Entry Nickname: Fire, Magma & Metal

Word count: 152K

Genre: Epic Fantasy

Query:

Manservant Ig appears to live the perfect life in service to the magnate. But no one knows of the flesh magic that will kill him if he disobeys a single command. Nor of the throats he’s slit and the bodies he’s burned to silence the whispers of rebellion.

Ig can control the magma running through the underground city’s arteries, and enslaved through his flesh binding, he works as the iron grip to Magnate Elías’s rule. With every addition to his hit list, the more Ig fantasizes about melting his master’s bones—anything to cure the festering conscience he thought he lost. But as Ig learns the identities of those calling for reform—and worse, befriends them—only death awaits his new companions. For none can stand between him and his victims.

After riots erupt in the city streets, Ig must find a way to aid the friends he is tasked with hunting down. He’ll also have to defy the one man he is powerless against, or bloody his hands executing anyone courageous enough to stand against him.

SERF OF THE MOUNTAIN is epic fantasy, complete at 152,000 words.

First 250:

Tonight was the night I would put an innocent man to death.

“Death by ash, or by ice?” Magnate Elías Adriann asked as he stood over the convict on a granite stage. I watched from beside the raised platform, among the magnate’s handpicked procession. It was impossible to find a resemblance between Elías and the kneeling prisoner; without knowledge of the scandal, no one would have guessed they were cousins.

Brian Adriann, now tasked with deciding how he wanted to die, only shivered in response. Ice crusted his beard and hypothermia had left his extremities black and gnarled like overcooked meat. A starry sky illuminated alcoves at the top of the sink hole, where Brian had roomed for the past week. Weeks of malnutrition up there, so close to the chasm’s lip, had already turned him into half a memory.

“Death by ash, or death by ice?” Magnate Elías repeated. He twisted the ring on his forefinger, expression grim, as if taking no pleasure in the trial. But I knew the truth.

Brian whimpered, and the sound provoked vivid imaginings of how I would kill him. Would he care I had no choice in the matter? Of course not. But what about those crowding the street, intently watching the trial? Would they ever realize I couldn’t say no?

Shame left acid on the back of my tongue. I didn’t want my part in this trial to affect how they saw me, even when an innocent man was about to die.

VERSUS

Title: Sleight of Spirit

Word Count: 125K

Entry Nickname: God's Dead, Now What?

Genre: High Fantasy (#ownvoices LGBT and ADHD)

Query:

A God draws their power from the will of their people, a Demigod from the will of the self, and a human mage out of the land. From across the six major planes of existence, worlds in their own right, Gods, Demigods, and mages migrate to the Arcane Institute on Meratain. There, advancement of knowledge erases all debts, oaths, and citizenships. It is the seat of power for Demigods and Gods alike, acting as a neutral, stabilizing body for all of its allies.

Selene Areste is a student at the Arcane Institute and the only priestess of Tenebris, the gender-neutral God of Beatified Darkness. Together, they shelter those who see darkness as s sign of safety. When a fellow student entreats Selene and Tenebris to help his dying world which refuses the Institute’s help, Tenebris is eager to help.

But the ritual ends in disaster. Tenebris is driven insane. Their followers die of suicide in droves. Selene must take responsibility for her role in the disaster and determine why her God failed. With the help of a girl with a memory disability and a woman possessed by a demon, Selene learns the price of a God’s hubris, the weakness in a Demigod’s will, and the human courage to kill her own God.

Sleight of Spirit is a completed, high fantasy novel told from multiple viewpoints which will appeal to fans of Magic: The Gathering stories, Diana Wynne Jones' Chrestomanci series, and anime such as Fairy Tail.

First 250:

The official color of the healers of the Arcane Institute was white. Selene found that funny; in her home country, white was the color of death. Elsewhere, it was the color of purity. To the God she served, Tenebris, white was the color of absence. The head healer said that white just helped him know when someone was bleeding.

Selene pulled a black silk scarf over her white robes to be sure that no one mistook her for a healer as she made her way through the hospital. It was a large, open space, and Selene marveled at its welcoming atmosphere. It smelled pleasantly of jasmine flowers today. The windows were tall and wide enough to let in ample sunlight, but strategic curtains allowed total darkness and privacy to any bed. About a quarter of the beds were filled, which for the Institute was good. After all, there were more than five hundred thousand students who access to the wards.

Around her, magical ether wards shimmered if she looked for them. The wards were active throughout the Institute. They were usually a communication structure, able to alert students to changing classes, jobs, communicate messages and even locate people if allowed.

In the hospital ward, they did all of that, but added health and comfort alarms for heartbeats, bleeding, and fever. Selene was glad to hear that none were active as she reached the Hospice area.

It was quieter here, more cozy. Selene knocked at the door labelled Farrel. “Animere?”

Query Kombat Round 1: Capes & Clorox vs. Pollyanna Saves the World

Title: House of Heroes

Entry Nickname: Capes and Clorox

Word count: 91K

Genre: Adult Urban Fantasy/Romance

Query:

As a member of the exclusive housekeeping staff at C.A.P.E Quarters (The Crime-Fighting Association of Powered Entities), Dee’s duties include more than just windows … try cleaning up excretions of acidic slime, forgotten outwear-panties, and husks of skin left on the war simulator/foosball table.

During routine lab tidying, Dee is convinced to participate in an experiment. The laser that is supposed to make her appear invisible, instead alters her genetic makeup, rendering her able to manipulate the electromagnetic spectrum. Suddenly she isn’t Dee Dalsey anymore. She trades in her apron for some spandex to become Prism, an invisible, ultraviolet-ray-wielding, forcefield-generating, bonafide superhero.

Meanwhile, her long-time crush is no longer speaking to her and Titan, the beefiest of the packing powerhouses, is doing a super job helping her to move on. Let’s be honest, who’s going to play hard to get when you’re five hundred feet in the air, legs wrapped around the country’s most sculpted torso? Sometimes spandex can be too constricting.

Dee is flying high until she realizes her powers are being manipulated to control the brainwave functions of the other heroes. Deity, a telepathic villain with out-of-control entitlement issues, has been carefully orchestrating everything. One after another, superheroes begin touting a “might is right” philosophy … even Titan. Dee must work with the crush who broke her heart to save Titan, the rest of the heroes, and the whole damn country.

A hybrid of Maid in Manhattan meets The Avengers, House of Heroes is a funny, feminine take on the superhero genre.

First 250:

Most people don’t realize that there is a right way to clean a toilet. There is a specific process. It’s practically an artform. However, when it’s your job to clean the toilet bowls of the most powerful super-humans on the planet, you become this specialized type of artist.

With a click of my thumb, the blue tip of my toilet wand plopped into the garbage bag. I pulled off my peep-yellow gloves and gave my project a final flush. Beautiful.

“Damn I’m good,” I said to myself. The solitary nature of my job always got to me by the end of the day. I ended up either having entire conversations with myself or singing without shame to the painstakingly-crafted 1980’s playlist on my phone.

“Dee Dalsey. Keeping superheroes hygienic one toilet at a time,” I said in my best Diane Sawyer voice. I raised an eyebrow and flashed a toothy smile as if posing for a headshot on the 6 O’clock news.

“Cute,” an unexpected voice answered from the doorway. My heart lurched into my throat at being caught in one of my privately weird moments.

“Henry! I didn’t see you standing there.”

He made an, “oh, please” face. I knew all his faces, and he had a whole repertoire of expressions locked and loaded in those big brown eyes. “Like you would have reined in your weirdness just because I was standing here.”

He had a point.

“Still,” I said. “It’s rude to sneak up on people. And get your dirty hand off the wall!”

VERSUS

Title: Suzannah in the Diamond’s Shadow

Entry Nickname: Pollyanna Saves the World

Word count: 138K

Genre: Adult Fantasy

Query:

Some 24-year-olds dream of making rent or finding love. Suzannah Zimri aims higher: she wants to rule Diamond, the shining capital of everything, the great beast of a city. Maybe she has the chops for it: she’s cunning and charismatic, good-natured and optimistic, and she has confidence- some say cockiness- to spare. She’s traveled the world, mastered illusion magic, broken up smuggling rings, and ran spy networks. How hard can it be?

Except Diamond already has a ruler: corruption. Industrialists smuggle in powerful drugs for the criminal syndicates, who pass it down to the people and make sure the police and government get their cut. Everyone benefits, besides the countless souls whose lives are destroyed by the beast.

Suzannah was chased out of her last city with the cops on her heels for trying to do the right thing. This time, things are going to go exactly according to plan. Suzannah goes outside the law as “The Conductor,” a masked avenger who unites the downtrodden. She gives the thieves and plunderers a taste of their own medicine, seeking justice for those caught between Diamond’s jagged teeth.

But she’s badly outgunned. Suzannah has to contend with ruthless mobsters, merciless merchants, and deadly private militaries all out for her head- with nothing to fall back on except a few friends, her magic, and her mind. If she wants to avoid getting devoured like so many others, her wits will have to be sharp. Diamond sharp.

SUZANNAH IN THE DIAMOND’S SHADOW is the first novel in a planned tetralogy. Fans of THE GOBLIN EMPEROR’S unconventional worldbuilding or THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA’S guile heroes will find plenty to love here.


First 250:

Suzannah had nothing and nobody, but she had the shadows.

It was dusk, and a haunting quiet had overtaken the areas surrounding Maurya Hill. Most days, the borough buzzed with dice games and gardening and drunken fistfights, but today there was only silence. Today, respectable people knew to stay inside.

Suzannah was not a respectable person. She was huddled in the alleyway that separated a cheap banana-leaf buffet from her third-favorite hair salon. She was trying to work up the will to duck her way through the open street and into the next alley.

Every passing second placed her things in greater jeopardy. Force Defensa had already sacked her apartments, costing her thousands of damaos, dozens of outfits, and almost everything else she owned. She had an emergency safehouse, but it was likely to be plundered too- and then she’d have nothing but the clothes on her back and her mother’s necklace.

But if she left the alleyway, she’d leave sister shadow’s embrace and be completely exposed. Then she might end up like poor Fernanda. They had been walking together to meet with Andre when Force Defensa descended. Fern was a great fighter, quick and fearless, but there was one of her and at least five ratcatchers. She had let herself be taken so Suzannah could escape- and those captured by Force Defensa were never seen again. In all likelihood, she had sacrificed her life for Suzannah’s.

The wound of losing Fern was too fresh to hurt yet.