Query Kombat 2018 Final Round Instructions

Here it is! The final matchup! It's been a thrilling month, and an agonizing one. I am honored to host the final matchup on my blog. Kontestants, you are amazing. All the anxiety will be over tomorrow!

Judges: You have until 8pm EDT on July 1st to cast your final vote. Comment moderation is still on. If you make a mistake with your judge name or aren't sure if your vote went through, email the querykombat account. We know judges have had problems posting this year; we recommend writing your comment in an email draft before posting in case it doesn't go through.

Many thanks to all who have participated in Query Kombat 2018. We couldn't do it without you!

Query Kombat 2018 FINAL Round: Got Me a Daddy Map vs Don't Mess With an Assassin Mom

Title: Mama's Chicken & Dumplings

Entry Nickname: Got Me a Daddy Map

Word Count: 38K

Genre: #Ownvoices MG Historical

Query:

Ten-year-old Allie’s anger can be a hot-comb sitting on the flame of a stove. Sometimes that copper pressing comb of emotion turns red hot and she does things she later regrets. She wants to stay calm. But emotions are hard to handle, especially when people think your mama’s an improper woman. Allie knows—it’s not Mama’s fault she isn’t married yet has a child. The only reason Allie’s breathing is because of that no-good man who forced himself on Mama. Why Mama didn’t leave her on the steps of the A & P when she born, Allie isn’t sure. But one thing’s certain. Allie’s full-up with empty inside because of it, and she’s going to fill it by finding mama a decent husband.

That’s why she and her cousin Julius Caesar create a daddy map and hunt for potential suitors for Mama. When they find a good prospect—men who like to sing, have a kind smile, and most importantly love Mama's chicken and dumplings—Allie draws a red crayon heart above their names. Before long, Allie and Caesar fix their mind on Mr. Rawls, their band teacher, The One! But when Allie discovers who Mr. Rawls is related to, she throws out his jar of chicken and dumplings and covers over his red heart with a black crayon.

Mama’s Chicken & Dumplings is a 38,000-word, middle-grade novel with a colorful backdrop of Chicago's South Side’s better days of the early 1940s.


First 250:


I’m sitting on the stoop of our brownstone, brushing my old doll’s hair when the fat man comes, smiling his fat smile. He’s come to collect the rent. But I ain’t worried. Whenever Mama comes home from cleaning, she goes straight to her coffee tin and in goes her money. Clink. Clink. She ain’t spared not even a penny, not even to me, though I shed me some tears.

“Please, please,” I’d say. “Let me run down to Mr. Malone’s store and get me a Mary Jane.” Mama’s real tight with pennies, so I’m sure she’s got enough. Least, I hope.

The fat man rings the bell. Ring. Mama will know that’s for her. If he’d rung it two times together—ring, ring, like that—loud-mouth Miss Zelda in her housedress with shout-out colors and a scarf round her head would’ve come from the second floor. Had it been three times, old Mr. Potterfield, who’s up on the third floor, would’ve opened his window and hollered “Who!” And if it wasn’t anybody he knew, he’d grumble like the back of a garbage packer squeezing down trash and slam the window.

One ring is all, and Mama will be at the door, letting the fat man in.

Course, I could let him in, but since he’s acting like he can’t see me sitting here, right up under his feet, I decide I ain’t paying him no mind at all. And I ain’t letting him in. He’ll have to wait for Mama.

VERSUS

Title: BABYFACE

Entry Nickname: Don't Mess with an Assassin Mom

Word Count: 89K

Genre: Adult Thriller

Query:

To her family and friends, Marybeth Delay is the embodiment of the word "wholesome": she's a teacher, wife, and loving mother of two young children living in small-town Minnesota. But they don’t know that she was once, in a different lifetime, Valentina “Babyface” Nacosto, the New Jersey mob’s most prolific and mysterious killer. They don’t know that she had a child seventeen years ago, who died in a hit meant for her. They don’t know that the serenity of her new life is repressed denial of her old one.

Marybeth thinks the past is forever behind her until the morning she turns on the news — and discovers that her son is alive. Alive, and the focus of a furious FBI manhunt, along with Valentina’s ex-husband, fugitive mob boss Vincent "Nine Lives" Nacosto.

Valentina couldn't save her son from violence seventeen years ago. But she can now. And she will. She’ll get to him before the FBI does. She’ll be his way out—and she will risk her new family, her new life, her new peace to do it.

BABYFACE is told in both past and present timelines as Marybeth/Valentina comes to terms with who she was, who she is, and who she needs to be for both her families. Complete at 89,000 words, BABYFACE evokes a female John Wick crossed with the emotional conflict of A History of Violence. It will appeal to fans of Alafair Burke’s The Wife, Riley Sager’s Final Girls, and Jessica Knoll’s Luckiest Girl Alive.


First 250:


I have the Minnesota winter to blame for what I did today, and for everything I know I will do tomorrow.

The kids and I got home at 3:30 from pickup. My fingers were numb. The heater in the minivan doesn’t work well, not in this kind of cold, and I forgot my gloves. It’s month two of my maternity leave and I guess I don’t have it together yet. Caroline was nagging me for Doc McStuffins the entire ride and Jacob was screaming his little head off. I knew he was hungry. I knew because my breasts felt like overfilled water balloons about to burst. But Jacob doesn’t latch; I have to pump. My stomach sank when I realized he was twenty minutes away from his meal.

Five tortured miles later, we made it home. I dragged the car seat into the living room. “Give mommy a second," I begged. No luck. He screamed louder as Caroline tugged on my hand. Doc McStuffins. Right. Maybe it would entertain Jacob, too. I jabbed at the remote, my fingers blue and slow from cold. The TV jumped to life and I pressed the numbers. 3-1-3, Disney Junior. Jacob was still screaming when I headed to the foyer to retrieve the pacifier and pump, wincing as my fingers came back to life in potent little stabs. If he hadn’t been crying, if I hadn’t been in pain, I would have noticed. I would have seen. I would have understood that I had the wrong channel.

I would have changed it.

Query Kombat 2018 Final Matchup!

WOW! This month has been intense! We know your hair has been pulled out, your nails bitten down to the quick, and your refresh button completely worn out. Don't worry, folks, the stress of Query Kombat is nearly over. Our final round is coming up this Saturday. The final match will be up for votes June 30th-July 1st at 8pm EDT. All of our fabulous judges are invited to vote, and we hope you'll all show up to cheer on the final two kontestants. Here they are:

Query Kombat FINAL Round

Got Me a Daddy Map vs Don't Mess With an Assassin Mom

Good luck!

Query Kombat Round 5 Matchups

Yet another brutal round of Query Kombat! We're sorry to say goodbye to four more amazing entries, but we wish them luck with their agent requests!

Round 5 will be back on Mike's blog. It starts June 27th at 8am EDT and ends June 28th at 8pm EDT.  We can't wait! Our fingernails may not survive all the nailbiting!

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please leave a comment or tweet us.

Round 5 Matchups

Got Me a Daddy Map vs Carrion My Wayward Son

Don't Mess with an Assassin Mom vs I'll Stand Bayou

Query Kombat Round 4 Matchups

Round 3 was nerve-wracking! From the Sweet 16 to the Elite 8, we had a lot of close matches and difficult decisions. A lot of outstanding entries have left us on our quest for the very best.

Round 4 is around the corner, kicking off June 24th on Michelle's blog. The round starts at 8:00 a.m. and continues until 8:00 p.m. EDT the following day. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please leave a comment or tweet us. 

Please note: there are no more opportunities to edit your entry. (For the kontest. Of course edit your work as you choose when you go forth and query!)

Round 4 Match Ups

Got Me a Daddy Map vs Shiver Me Timbers

Carrion My Wayward Son vs This Wasn't in the Job Contract

GG: Found Family vs Don't Mess with an Assassin Mom

I'll Stand Bayou vs Hungry Ocean Gods

Good Luck Elite 8 Kombatants!

 

Query Kombat Round 3 Matchups

Round 2 had a lot of close matches and difficult decisions. A lot of outstanding entries have left us on our quest for the very best. Round 3 is coming up soon! The round starts on June 19th at 8:00 a.m. and continues until June 21st at 8:00 p.m. EDT. Round 3 will be hosted only on Michael's blog. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please tweet at or email us. Send your revised entries using the same format and email address by Monday June 18th at noon EDT. This will be your last chance to revise for the contest, so make it good!

Round 3 Match Ups 

Raspberry Moon vs Got Me a Daddy Map

Planet Panic vs Shiver Me Timbers

GG: Found Family vs I Wish I Was White

Carrion My Wayward Son vs My Babysitter is a Skeleton

This Wasn't in the Job Contract vs Swimming with the Amoebas

No Heroes Here vs I'll Stand Bayou

Hungry Ocean Gods vs Unnaturally Dyed Boutonniere

Why Are You So Obsessed with Me? vs Don't Mess with an Assassin Mom

Good Luck Sweet 16 Kombatants! 

Query Kombat 2018 Round 2 Instructions

Here we go! Round 2!

Entries are on my blog and Michelle's! This round lasts until June 16th at 8 pm EDT.

On Saturday the hosts may call out for extra judges to come and break ties, or in case of extra close votes to try and get a more decisive margin.

The entry with the most votes for Victory moves forward to the third round on June 19th! Winners may send in a revised entry to the Query Kombat email by Monday, June 18 at noon EDT. Use the same format as the previous times. Kombatants will not have any more chances to revise for the rest of the contest.

Reminders for the Entrants:
No commenting on your own entries until the last day of the round. If there is a problem with your entry, shout out to us on Twitter or e-mail as soon as you can. Also, we tried our hardest to make the match-ups as fair as possible and against as similar stories as possible. But, obviously, this is impossible to do perfectly and some match-ups may seen very random. We apologize for this but it's an evil of the system.

Kombatants should comment on 4 other match-ups to help share the love around!

Reminders for the Judges:
Wait until after one of us hosts comments on each entry first and reply to that comment to cast your votes. Try making your votes objective instead of subjective (but if you really love an entry subjectively, don't even feel bad about saying it was a subjective vote - subjectivity rules!). Make sure to post under your nicknames! I still have comment moderation on, so if you forget to use your nickname or reply in the judge thread we can fix it. Just send me an e-mail or DM.

Query Kombat Round 2: Raspberry Moon vs You Octopi My Heart

Title: Under A Raspberry Moon

Entry Nickname: Raspberry Moon

Word Count: 56K

Genre: Middle Grade Fantasy

Query:

On the eve of the galactic alignment, all practically-eleven-year-old Emma Baines wants is to
escape the school’s miserable bully game, Pick-Off. She doesn’t have time for rumors about the universe collapsing and the moon turning pink when the planets align. Besides, she’s a math-and-science girl. There’s no science in that load of pink baloney.

But Emma quickly changes her mind when A.C. Enniston slams into her backyard. The universe is collapsing, and it’s because this old man has been busting through parallel realities, searching for—of all things—her. Emma is the last element Enniston needs for his perfect computerized reality, a reality in which he and his dying wife, an eighty-year-old Emma, can be healthy forever.

Emma can hide like she does every day in Pick-Off, or she can figure out how to outsmart Enniston and save the universe. As the moon blazes pink, Emma learns about being brave and gets advice from two very different versions of herself from parallel realities. Emma must race across alternate dimensions to learn how to repair the universe and return home. But Enniston isn’t about to let that happen until his computerized reality is complete. If Emma doesn’t act smart and fast, the planets will align, the raspberry moon will fade, and the universe is toast.

UNDER A RASPBERRY MOON is a stand-alone novel with strong series potential, and the full manuscript is available upon request. My magical adventure would appeal to fans of THE VERY NEARLY HONORABLE LEAGUE OF PIRATES series and VOYAGE TO MAGICAL NORTH.


First 250:

Prescott Hadley City Honors campus was too quiet for a Wednesday morning, and Emma Baines didn’t trust it for one minute.

She gnawed a raggedy thumbnail and inched through the main gate. Even when it was raining, kids hung around in jabbering bunches, waiting for the warning bell. Not today. Today they sloshed through puddles straight to the front door. Where were the footballs, Frisbees, or those lousy rubber bands? They were the smallest but nastiest, zipping out of nowhere and snapping you into next week.

She took a few tiptoe steps. Today’s game could have been called because of the weather . . . but that was way too obvious, and it wasn’t raining that hard. Narrowing her eyes, she drummed her fingers around the purple umbrella’s handle.

All this quiet was just a trick, a trap, and she wasn’t about to be fooled. She’d stick with the original plan—sprint behind the school then bolt through the back entrance, the one near the picnic shelter. It would take more time, and she’d be drenched before coming anywhere near the door, but that route completely avoided today’s Pick-Off zone.

That psychopathic bully game moved every day, and if the P.H.C.H. buzz and Twitter had it right, today’s zone was the school’s front lawn. Scores doubled when the zone was right under teachers’ noses. Picking off advanced-placement kids earned twenty points, and Dillon Block had a wicked arm. That kid was the biggest, meanest commando-wannabe in the whole school— maybe the whole county.

VERSUS

Title: The One That Got Away: An Octopus Love Story

Entry Nickname: You Octopi My Heart

Word count: 27K

Genre: MG Anthropomorphic

Query:

For a long time, Ceph, a giant Pacific octopus, has pined after Sylvia, the octopus next door at the bottom of the sea. She’s beautiful, bold, and clever, but before he can muster the courage to speak to her, he’s captured by a human diver and imprisoned in an aquarium. It’s an awful place, with kids tapping on the glass and two taunting eels in the neighboring tank. Even worse, he’s forced to rely on his kidnapper for every meal. But unlike the other captives in the aquarium, Ceph has the ability to escape. He learns that octopuses before him have done it, though none have ever made it back to the ocean alive.

Ceph has never been the brave one—he couldn’t even tell Sylvia he loved her. In order to escape the aquarium, he must face a room full of predators, get past the watchful security guard, and figure out just how long he can hold his breath out of water. Even if he manages to get back into the dangerous ocean, he’ll have to find his way back to his den. Ceph, who has always relied on his ability to camouflage, now must employ all his fight and flight skills to get home safely, all the while wondering whether Sylvia will even care if he returns. Octopuses are solitary creatures, after all.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY is a 27,000-word anthropomorphic middle grade and was inspired by the true story of Inky, an octopus who escaped from the New Zealand National Aquarium.


First 250:


Ceph stretched arm after arm after arm until all eight were awake and independently exploring his den. His dominant right eye opened. Then the left. He blinked. Pressing his arms against his favorite sleeping rock, he peeled his body off. He floated for a moment, shaking off the drowsy feeling.

Today’s the day, he thought. I’m going to talk to Sylvia.

His skin shifted from lumpy brown to smooth reddish-orange.

He glided, arms floating around his body, to the front of his home –a rock den, slightly bigger than himself. He hovered in the entrance and looked out in the sea. It was a clear, still night in the Pacific Ocean –the water barely moving and satisfyingly cold.

Nearsighted, Ceph could hardly see Sylvia outside of her own den. He stared until her skin’s deep blush color came into view. He admired the white, polka-dots decorating all eight of her arms. No matter what color she turned, her polka-dots remained.

She was the loveliest creature in the entire sea.

And she was smart. What could Ceph say to her that wouldn’t sound stupid? He breathed deeply, oxygen ballooning through his gills. Then he moved forward, arm over arm, scooching across the ocean floor, practicing what he would say: Hello? How are you? My name is Ceph . . .

Something moved under Ceph’s second arm on the left. He shot straight up into the sea, the rest of his arms flailing, scaring the ink right out him.

Query Kombat Round 2: Got Me a Daddy Map vs A Boy Named Pez

Title: Mama's Chicken & Dumplings

Entry Nickname: Got Me a Daddy Map

Word Count: 38K

Genre: #Ownvoices MG Historical

Query:

Ten-year-old Allie’s anger can be a hot-comb sitting on the flame of a stove. Sometimes that copper pressing comb of emotion turns red hot and she does things she later regrets. She wants to stay calm. But emotions are hard to handle, especially when you live at a time when people think your Mama’s an improper woman. But Allie knows—it’s not Mama’s fault she isn’t married yet has herself a child. The only reason she’s breathing is because of that no-good man who forced himself on Mama. Why Mama didn’t leave her on the steps of the A & P, Allie isn’t sure. One thing’s certain. Allie’s got a hole inside her that's full-up with empty, and she’s going to fill it by getting Mama married.

That’s why she and her cousin Julius Caesar are determined to find her Mama a good man—one who likes to sing, who kind-smiles, and most importantly loves her mama's chicken and dumplings. During their hunt for potential suitors, they place a red heart on her daddy map. But soon after she and Caesar decide on the perfect man for Mama, Allie finds herself covering over his red heart with black. And she's left with nothing but believing that her insides will never feel like a bucket brimming with sweet-smelling rain. Mama’s Chicken & Dumplings is a 38,000-word, middle-grade novel with a colorful backdrop of Chicago's South Side’s better days of the early 1940s.


First 250:

I’m sitting on the stoop of our brownstone, brushing my old doll’s hair when the fat man comes, smiling his fat smile. He’s come to collect the rent. But I ain’t worried. Whenever Mama comes home from cleaning, she goes straight to her coffee tin and in goes her money. Clink. Clink. She ain’t spared not even a penny, not even to me, though I shed me some tears.

“Please, please,” I’d say. “Let me run down to Mr. Malone’s store and get me a Mary Jane.” Mama’s real tight with pennies, so I’m sure she’s got enough. Least, I hope.

The fat man rings the bell. Ring. Mama will know that’s for her. If he’d rung it two times together—ring, ring, like that—crazy Miss Zelda in her housedress with shout-out colors and a scarf round her head would’ve come from the second floor. Had it been three times, old Mr. Potterfield, who’s up on the third floor, would’ve opened his window and hollered “Who!” And if it wasn’t anybody he knew, he’d grumble like the back of a garbage packer squeezing down trash and slam the window.

One ring is all, and Mama will be at the door, letting the fat man in.

Course, I could let him in, but since he’s acting like he can’t see me sitting here, right up under his feet, I decide I ain’t paying him no mind at all. And I ain’t letting him in. He’ll have to wait for Mama.

VERSUS

Title: You Belong Here

Entry Nickname: A Boy Named Pez

Word count: 58K

Genre: Middle grade contemporary

Query:


Matthew Miller is a precocious eleven-year-old who dreams of becoming a famous filmmaker. He’s even given himself the name Pez because everybody who’s anybody knows memorable names are a must in Hollywood.

Despite what he’s been told, Pez is convinced he’ll make it in showbiz, most likely by the time he’s eighteen since he’s getting an early start. With the help of his neighbor Jasmine, he sets out to make his first film, a rom-com entitled Dog Loves Cat. He knows for a fact that his mom, who left home three months ago, will come back if his movie shows on the big screen at an upcoming film festival.

But then things start happening. Things showbiz people call obstacles, the kind that usually kick off Act II in the movies. His mom doesn’t seem to miss him at all, his dad’s PTSD symptoms return, and Jasmine runs away. Then a hurricane hits, flooding the mobile park where Pez lives and ruining all his film supplies. With Pez’s confidence wavering for the first time, he must choose whether to finish his movie or give up on his dream and, quite possibly, his mom.

At 58,000 words, YOU BELONG HERE is a contemporary middle grade novel inspired by my childhood neighborhood in Milford, CT. While its quirky characters will appeal to fans of the TV show Young Sheldon, it explores similar themes as Katherine Paterson’s The Same Stuff as Stars.


First 250:

Goodbyes get me thinking about Mom.

She’s been away on vacation for almost three months. Which, between you and me, isn’t actually a vacation. That’s why a lump is climbing my throat as I brainstorm the goodbye scene of my film, Dog Loves Cat. When Harold the Dog tells Kitty the Cat he loves her, she replies, “Oh, Harold, it can never be.” Then she takes his paws and declares, “Now, we must say goodbye.”

And then… and then… and then a big, fat nothing.

Usually my best ideas come during my walk home from school, but today my brain is set to one channel: Mom. Is she catching some rays on a California beach? Is she snapping pics of wildflowers in Montana? Or is she on a highway heading back to Dad and me? I hope so. Three months is already way too long.

But enough of the sad stuff.

I like life the same as I like my cinema: filled with LOLs and ROFLs.

Plus, I need to get home pronto to work on Dog Loves Cat. After all, the Future Filmmakers Festival submission deadline is only three months away so--

“Yo, Spielberg!”

Before I can spin around, an arm the size of Darth Vader’s Death Star spaceship wraps around my scrawny neck.

Butterscotch.

There’s only one person these Death Star biceps could belong to and that’s Fang. He’s trouble. Trouble with a capital T. And there’s no way I’m pulling free from his Arnold Schwarzenegger grip with these string bean limbs.

Query Kombat Round 2: Carrion My Wayward Son vs I Found a Magic Stone in Paris

Title: Song of the Vulture

Entry Nickname: Carrion My Wayward Son

Word count: 96K

Genre: YA Fantasy

Query:


Eighteen-year-old Alora Delattre should have been burned at the stake. Her power to possess others’ bodies is an ability condemned by scripture as the deepest form of corruption. Her father, the head of the church that would execute her, should have been the one to set her aflame. Instead, he hid her.

Then her mother is murdered by a heretic rebellion, and suddenly death by fire seems like a small price to pay for revenge. She takes over the body of one of the rebels, determined to hunt the killer down and make him bleed. But what she finds in their camp changes everything. For the first time, she sees her benevolent father through the eyes of the people whose blood he has spilled and whose families he has torn apart in the name of righteousness. And then there’s Chet, the quiet, passionate, maddening leader of the rebellion who she swears can see right through her even though he’s blind. She’s risking everything letting him get close—especially while she’s wearing another girl’s skin.

But Scythe, her father’s young, magical tracker, is on her trail and closing in fast. Alora must choose: get the revenge she craves by hauling Chet and his crew to the execution stage, or lead the crusade against the most terrible dictator her world has ever known—her own father.

SONG OF THE VULTURE is a YA fantasy complete at 96,000 words. It is a multi-POV novel with chapters from Alora’s, Chet’s, and Scythe’s points of view. The possession aspect hearkens back to Stephenie Meyer’s The Host, while the father-daughter relationship and the romance will appeal to readers of Marie Rutkoski’s The Winner’s Curse.


First 250:

You will burn, little vulture. Your secret will be discovered, and your body will crumble to ash.

Alora knew the Pyre couldn’t speak, knew the words were in her own mind, and yet the threat still raised the hairs on her arms.

The Pyre’s great pole shone white as a bone over the housetops behind her. Every time she and Kirsi snuck out of the temple like this, that pole watched her dart from shadow to shadow, followed her around every corner, waited for her to slip up so she could finally meet fiery death at its feet.

Alora glared over her shoulder, aimed an obscene gesture in its direction, and continued on her way.

Hooves clattered on the cobblestones behind them, and Kirsi shoved her into the nearest alley, cursing. They ducked out of sight an instant before the guards rode past. Alora’s heart thundered in her ears. That had been a close call. She clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle a laugh.

Kirsi’s dark eyes flashed her annoyance as she tugged her hood to shroud her pointed nose and deep olive skin. When the guards disappeared around the corner, she rounded on Alora. “Stop laughing, idiot. They could have seen us.”

“Exactly,” Alora replied, breathless. “Dodging them is half the fun.”

She pulled Kirsi back down the road. Faster now. The sooner they got to the Frosted Vulture, the better.

Keeping to the darkest parts of the city, they reached the slouching remains of an abandoned shoemaker's shop a few hours after midnight.

VERSUS

Title: Mist

Entry Nickname: I found a magic stone in Paris

Word count: 90K

Genre: YA Urban Fantasy

Query:

When sixteen-year-old Deirdre Walsh arrives in Paris to spend the summer at her grandfather’s, she intends to get to know the city like a local, even though she’ll have to fight grandpa on everything from curfews to the rip in her jeans.

But when he tells her about a stone of infinite power he’s been hiding and how she teethed on it as a baby, making her the only one able to wield it, playing tourist is no longer high on her list. The stone is faerie-made and the fey have descended upon Paris to reclaim it from the humans who stole it from them. After grandpa suffers a heart attack and goes into a coma, Deirdre follows the clues he left for her and sets off to find the stone.

But before she can use the stone’s magic to revive her grandfather, the fey kidnap him from the hospital and issue an ultimatum: If Deirdre doesn’t relinquish the stone by midnight, they’ll murder him along with thousands of innocent civilians. Grandpa is no longer the only one she needs to save. In a city where trust is a lost currency and alliances come with a price, all she has is herself and the stone—if the dark magic it’s made of doesn't destroy her first.


First 250:

I slid my passport through the window. The immigration agent did not crack a smile as he began his interrogation. I stared back, scrambling to recall the few words of French I’d hung on to since eighth grade.

“Allez-y, Mademoiselle,” he prodded. He didn’t look like the patient type.

I pulled out a phrase book from my pocket. I had studied it during the flight from New York but couldn’t remember a word of it now. My cheeks went red.

“You are here how long, Miss…Deirdre Walsh?” His French accent was thick, my name dissolving into a string of harsh consonants over his tongue.

“Two months,” I said.

“You stay where?”

“With my grandfather, in Paris.”

A door behind him opened, and a security officer entered the glass booth. The man was tall, all arms and legs, with hair so pale it looked white under the overhead lights. He whispered something in his colleague’s ear, bringing my interrogation to an end. The agent nodded, his gaze drifting past me as if he hadn’t been talking to me for the last two minutes. “Au suivant,” he called. The woman next in line walked up to the window.

The officer grabbed my passport. “Come with me, Miss.” I couldn’t place his accent but I knew it wasn’t French.

“What?” Fear prickled in the pit of my stomach. “Is there a problem?” I ran several international marathons every year and was used to traveling abroad.

Query Kombat Round 2: GG: Found Family vs #SexEd

Title: EXP

Entry Nickname: GG: Found Family

Word count: 52K

Genre: Young Adult Contemporary (#OwnVoices)

Query:

Fourteen-year-old Sai is one of the highest-ranked gamers on the Shadows of Shinobi circuit…but he can't go out in public without having a meltdown.

As a teenager with Autism, Sai battles crippling anxiety and underdeveloped social skills. But when Team Komodo asks him to become the reserve player on their semi-professional eSports team, those social skills are put to the test as he turns online acquaintances into real-life friends.

Thankfully, each member of Team Komodo is just as much of a fringe-dweller as Sai. They include a transgender jack-of-all-trades, a dating sim addict, a hyperactive community college dropout, a fake psychic and a thorny military reject. To earn his keep, Sai begins analyzing the team’s competition to increase their chances of winning. But as the team climbs to higher divisions, they’ll have to face stronger opponents.

Every member of the team knows that they can't afford to let their internal struggles get in the way of victory as they brave a grueling series of tournaments. If they win, Sai and his teammates inch closer to breaking into the pro scene. If they lose, it’s back to social isolation and working dead end jobs. The team will have to beat both their opponents and neuroses in order to keep the family together and make their dreams a reality.

EXP is a Contemporary YA novel complete at 52,000 words. This “found family story in an eSports setting” features neurodiverse characters, LGBTQ+ characters, as well as characters of color and is #OwnVoices for all three categories.


First 250:


A dim, somber candle wavered in the summer heat, illuminating all Psy needed to know about his new employer. The low-level crime lord in his dirty brown robe gave an almost toothless yellow grin that looked orange by the light of the candle. The wood on the sliding doors rotted with mildew. Psy could smell the high definition of the effect. In this new expansion, Meiji truly outdid itself with adding in more sensory details to gameplay. It was hard to believe that this alternate version of Tokugawa Japan was constructed from ones and zeroes.

Psy fingered the sickle and chain holstered at his hip that his real self had tied to hot keys. In the world of SoS, he was a competent ninja and master poison maker. For a few hours, he could forget about the cold oatmeal and empty friends list he had waiting for him in the real world.

The candlelight reflected on the faces of Psy’s randomized teammates, the ones who would be completing this NPC slimeball’s mission for him. In addition to a Sumo and Assassin, there was a master and apprentice Monk duo. Psy narrowed his eyes as he thought of all of the times the master could legally switch out with the apprentice in order to train him. Did they have to keep summoning and sealing the same spirit over and over? He turned up his nose as the greenest envy washed over him when he imagined the apprentice learning everything his master knew while he was all alone.

VERSUS

Title: Deafinitely

Entry Nickname: #SexEd

Word count: 79K

Genre: YA Contemporary (#own #dis #rehabilitated #WOC)

Query:

Lia Rossi plans on making the most of her junior year. Like, hello? She’s the new Social Coordinator, and her first order of business is advocating a Sex Ed program—for the Special Ed class.

This sounds sketchy coming from the town it-girl (read: party girl), but she really thinks anyone who wants safe, satisfying sex should be able to learn about it. Just as people start taking her seriously, the new girl in town, Fallyn, flat-out ignores Lia’s warm welcome into the student body. So Lia publicly humiliates her, like any sensible person at the top of the social ladder would. The only problem is, Fallyn’s Deaf, not rude.

Now, half the school, including the deaf and disabled students, are questioning whether Lia’s too shallow and ignorant to be anyone’s advocate. If she truly wants to be taken seriously—and if she truly wants to help fight a battle that’s not her own—Lia must do more than cross social divides. She must let the Special Ed students lead the way towards a sex and self revelation. No, scratch that. A revolution.

But if they fail, they will all reinforce the negative stereotypes society has placed on them.

DEAFINITELY has the air of Emma (Jane Austen), the activism of Moxie (Jennifer Mathieu), and the awareness of A Silent Voice (Naoko Yamada and Reiko Yoshida).


First 251:

I’m in the center of the Student Council office. Like, literally standing before President Brooke and Secretary Emilio. They look me over as if picking me apart, searching for any flaw they can and will find. Especially Brooke.

“Let’s cut the crap, shall we?” she says. “You want to get on the Council and you’re using the Special Ed class to get there. That’s new, I’ll give you that, but—” She narrows her eyes. “You’re a silver-spoon slacker. Good ideas, but no real execution.”

I gasp, blinking hard. I mean, damn. That’s no way to talk to her future Social Coordinator. An angry blush prickles my cheeks, and unlike Emilio, my skin’s not warm enough to cover it.

But I can’t snap on them.

Under no circumstances can I blow this interview. Not only do I need the Council’s resources for my Sex Ed campaign (#prioritiesONpoint), but I can’t go home with bad news. I haven’t mastered the art of crying beautifully yet, so no way is that an option.

I raise a perfectly arched eyebrow. “I don’t know about you, but sex will never get boring for me. This isn’t some little high school project. This is life, and love, and sex.”

“For people with disabilities,” Emilio says, feeling the need to point out the obvious. He’s reviewing my proposal sheet and running his knuckle against his bottom lip, back and forth, back and forth, back. And. Forth. “Your proposal looks good, but I’m curious. Why do you care?”